That's intense
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
