He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
