My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
