Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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