Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
