After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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