i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
