i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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