So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
