Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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