Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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