Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize