I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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