Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
