My room smells like vodka and shame
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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