After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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