This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
