I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
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