took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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