I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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