Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
