hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
