Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
