Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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