I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
