i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just puked most of my soul out..
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize