Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
