so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
