Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
