Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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