so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
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