he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
