remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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