ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i can't believe i had my finger in that
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
