Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
