I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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