Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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