Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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