I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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