Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
