Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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