I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
