there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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