youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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