I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
