either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
