Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
