What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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