I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
