...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
