Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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