just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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