imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize