watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
