I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
