I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
