garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
