feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize