Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
