It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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