I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
