apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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