Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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