I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
